7/23/10

Inner Tug of War

Imagine the game of tug-of-war. If one side of you desires to have a loving partner, but the other side of you fears it and wants to avoid it, then your two sides will pull the rope back and forth but not get very far. In order to move your life forward, you need to eliminate your resistance. One side or the other has to walk away with the rope.


So what is one way to move past this inner battle? 

I guess one way to not do the inner "tug of war" is to really sense deep inside what you truly want - for now (you can always change your mind later) - and then COMMIT to that side. Align yourself and all your decisions with the side you are choosing. Keep committing to that choice until you accomplish it. If you feel you might want a relationship - commit to that choice full out. You'll never know if you don't experience it full out. If you want to be single for now - commit to that full out and enjoy that experience. You can always change your choice later.  

Part of the problem is often people are afraid that if they choose, they could get it and not be happy. So they stay in limbo - afraid of the "what if" - so they never decide. If you fully commit to having the experience of being in a relationship - and you allow it - and then you find that particular relationship wasn't quite it - you move forward. At least you moved the energy - you didn't let the "what if" keep you stuck. 

Whatever choice you make, commit to it - enjoy that choice full out! (You certainly wouldn't stay stuck if you were going to drive somewhere, right? "What if - I won't like it once I arrive there?" You just drive there and then if you don't like it - you leave. Or you enjoy the destination once you arrive. How else would you know?)

The fear of getting hurt can stop people - but if you stay stuck, you're most likely not any happier, just safer. (So for you Yellows out there who don't like being told what to do - "just stay where you are, stay stuck." If you tell a Yellow what to do - he or she will do the opposite. So, you Yellows - just stay stuck. Don't make any commitments.)   

That's at least one way i know to move past the inner "tug of war."  Have fun life adventures! I hope you commit to living it full out!










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